The Shaolin Field Guide To Being COSMIC

So you know that sort of punk dude who you went to high school with that skated (kind of) and did lots of drugs to be cool and get laid? Then a couple years after that, he started wearing lots of turquoise jewelry and grew his hair real long and fluffy?

Or how about that kind of nerdy dude that got cool over a summer because he grew like two feet and started wearing paisley vests and got way into Frank Zappa? Any of this feel familiar???

This is the starting point of getting COSMIC. The new cool thing/thing that has always existed and was never the cool thing to do when your a dude and wanna get wasted and laid FOREVER MANN. I've made an easy guide for you, here are a few simple characteristics:

1. Dress like you are the secret 20th member of the 13th Floor Elevators. Think corduroy bell bottoms, paisley vests, crushed velvet anything, silk scarves, lots of rings, fluffy hair, leather jackets, big hats, alligator shoes, moccasins, multiple belts, etc. If you do wear a shirt, it has to be either too tight or too short.

2. Get way into super tripper obscure psychedelic jams with a lot of soloing and early Tyrannosaurus Rex. Don't forget to have a general knowledge of classic rock and early new york punk/powerpop. Loosely acceptable: Sun Ra, Mars Volta, prog, glam, anything made in or before '77.

3. DRRRUUUUGGGGGSSSSSSS

4. Instead of saying "weed" say "dope." Choose a "doobie" over a "joint." You DON'T hang out, you party. "Cigarette" = meh, "fag" = COSMIC!

5. Strive your hardest to be Jim Morrison.

6. Talk about outer space, indian spirits, zeitgeist, exploring your mind, abstract religions, The Doors, mythology, art, literature, music, and The Doors, all of which you know nothing about.

7. spend most of your time thinking about shit like this:




8. Somehow manage to get laid by beautiful girls ALL THE FUCKING TIME no matter how ugly you are. Looks don't matter, as long as your cosmic.

...and there it is in a nutshell. I can guarantee that you're either reading this thinking, "I know exactly what your talking about and those dudes suck" or "WHAAAAAATTTT TRIPPY". In which case, you are probably COSMIC AS FUCK!!

One last thing: I found the below picture on some fashion blog while writing this post and it pretty much sums everything up. The quote is REAL.



"My style, it changes from week to week. I like Freddie Burudi, he designed/dressed David Bowie a lot in the early 70s. I like Marc Bolan's style, he's from T.Rex. Today I just woke up at some girl's house and I just grabbed what was around and I didn't wash my hair, so I had to buy a hat."

FIN.